Stress management techniques for busy mothers

1. Identify the cause. Be aware of the issues that are generating stress. Do not ignore the slightest hint and try to perceive how the body reacts emotionally and physically. Accordingly, determine how you can change the surroundings to avoid, curtail or eliminate stress completely from your life. Have a control over your conduct and try to moderate the physical and emotional reactions under stressful circumstances. Medications bring short term relief of course, but control over one’s self is the most important key.

2. Let it out. Bottling up anger and pushing aside problems only result in building up of intense emotions. Talk with a friend or a family member who understands. Relationships and communications are great stress reducers. Emotional support from a person who cares for you goes a long way and makes life much easier. Plenty of social activities will automatically solve a lot of problems busy mothers face at work or in their domestic life.

3. Think positively. Women have a tendency to brood over matters which they think they could have done better. This tendency to self-suffer makes them more open to stress. So, let it go. Instead, admit to the failures, shortcomings, agonies, sacrifices and imperfections and focus on the positive aspects of life. Make a plan and figure out how you can perform better the next time.

4. Make new friends. Making acquaintances apart from the colleagues at work is very important because the friends from work place tend to discuss topics related to work which is the main thing that ties them all together. Friendships that take place outside the work area broadens the mind, helps share personal interests and experiences and provide opportunities to indulge in activities together unrelated to work like jogging or swimming, going to a movie or a health spa or a picnic.

5. Take a day off. Usually the wife is the one looking after the kids, picking up after them, feeding and bathing them in addition to all other regular household chores. Let your husband do the chores for one day of the week every week while you relax on the sofa and turn on some music. Talk with your husband, explain and schedule a workday for him.

6. Take it slow, enjoy motherhood. Mothers, working or not, are always hard pressed for time. So, they are always on the run. Rushing down to the grocery store after putting the toddler hurriedly in the car seat, flying up and down the stairs with the laundry, cooking a fast meal for self, cleaning the kitchen in five minutes all become regular routine and when the mother finally finds time to catch up on her favorite TV show, the baby starts bawling in the crib. There will always be something to be done. Strike off two or three things that you know can wait from your to-do list. Start your day before everyone in your household does. Wake up one hour earlier and enjoy a nice, warm cup of coffee at peace in your kitchen. Take a stroll in your neighborhood and admire the smiling daisies, the lush greens and take in as much fresh morning air as you can. Drive slower than usual on your way back from work. Slow walking helps release the stress. So, go out with your baby in the stroller during the evening hours after you are back from work and watch the sun go down. Listen to music in the evening, dance to the tunes with your baby and fill yourself with a refreshing pleasure.

7. Laugh a lot. Correctly evaluate a situation and stop blaming yourself for another person’s mistakes. Attack stress with the laughter weapon. Laughter medicine releases disease fighting antibodies, stimulates heart and lungs, relieves muscle tension, increases longevity and improves oxygen supply in the blood. Hearty laughter needs no effort at all. Invest a little in jokes books or funny cartoon magazines, hang around with people with good sense of humor or simply play with your kids and pets in your backyard after a long work day and rejuvenate your soul.

8. Diet and exercise. There is so less time for busy mothers to take care of themselves that either they can’t think about exercising or they are too tired at the end of the day to do some sit ups. But, mothers, here is a good and affordable solution to your problem. Exercising three or four times a week builds up your physical reserves and helps you fight stress more efficiently. Moderate and slow exercises like cycling, walking, aerobics, swimming and jogging can be very effective to ward off stress. Exercises help you sleep better and start a whole new day with new vigor and an enhanced feeling of self esteem.

9. Indulge yourself with Yoga and meditation. The rewards of yoga are endless, both physically and mentally. Setting up and honestly following a fitness regime which is both enjoyable and exhilarating both calms the mind and strengthens the body, giving you the boost, much needed by busy mothers, to carry yourself further. Practiced for centuries, yoga massages the internal organs as well as energizes the soul. It stimulates the muscles in the various body parts in a non-strenuous manner and brings about flexibility in those areas which were never so much worked upon before thus stimulating active blood circulation which means efficient transport of nutrients attributing to delayed ageing, a boost in stamina, improved digestion, dodging disability, enhanced breathing, rejuvenation of skin and radiation of confidence. You will discover a new vigor in life. Most importantly, the goal of yoga is to attune body with mind and soul. It requires only 15-20 minutes each morning to practice yoga. Regular practice of yoga will relieve you of physical pain and stress giving you a positive outlook towards life and enlightenment of soul. It is the exercise of the body as well as the mind. Thousands have been aroused by yoga’s magical touch and have benefited from it. In essence, the centuries’ old healing touch of yoga will transform your life at the spiritual level.

10. Pamper yourself with Aromatherapy. The word aromatherapy actually means the use of essential oils (many of which have magnificent aromas) found in various plant parts like flowers, seeds, fruits, leaves, bark or wood in a curative manner. Aroma or essence is found everywhere and it influences our mood in a wide variety of ways. Aromas of some spices like cinnamon and cardamom in the kitchen water the mouth while lavender and chamomile scented candles around the tub soothe the nervous system. Rose petals in bathing water improve the skin texture, dried citrus fruits freshen the indoor air and sandalwood powder alleviates stress. Aroma of ginger in tea eases cold symptoms and meditating with the use of jasmine incense in a dimly lit room and a restful environment calms the mind and sets the mood.

It is extremely difficult for busy mothers to find time to pamper them with the elaborate techniques of aromatherapy. But one thing is for sure. It is a sure shot stress buster. So, if the busy mother can find time, there is no alternative to aromatherapy.

Some aromatherapy techniques:

a) Massage- is the key to longevity. When we massage ourselves or receive a massage with essential oils, the oils lubricate the skin and are absorbed by the body. They enter through the pores in the skin, seep through the tissues and reach the bloodstream, which helps them reach the various organs of the body. The exhilarating aroma of the oils refreshes and relaxes the mind, rejuvenates the skin and cools down the body.

Recipe for massage:

3 drops of olive oil

2 drops of neem oil

2 drops of sandalwood oil

3 drops of arachis oil

3 drops of lavender oil

Mix the oils and gently massage all over the body after bath when the body is most receptive.

b) Meditation- Fragrances enter the human body through the nasal pores and stimulate the olfactory nerves. These nerves then carry the impulses to the brain thus energizing it, which in turn does the job of arousing the whole body. This influences the hormone levels of the body that regulate desires, passions, urges, emotions and memories. The subtle effect of the oils thus can control the senses and the body responses accordingly.

Recipe for meditation:

5 parts Sandalwood oil

3 parts Frankincense

2 parts Myrrh

Put the ingredients in a diffuser and put it in your room where you intend to meditate.

c) Sleep promotion and stress relief- Nothing can be compared to the soaking of the whole body in a tub full of lukewarm water with a few drops of essential oils in it after a full day of work. Aromatic candles with lavender scent can also be added to the scenario. The vapors penetrate the skin and reach the brain, where they stimulate the nerves and send down a cool, revitalizing and relaxing sensation all throughout the body.

Recipe to promote sleep:

4 drops lavender oil

Add 4 drops lavender oil to 1 teaspoon milk. Pour into warm bath water and soak or put them in a diffuser at bedtime.

Recipe to relieve stress:

1. 3 parts ylang ylang

2 parts Lavender oil

1 part Sandalwood oil

2. 4 drops of sandalwood oil

5 drops of lavender oil

Pour then in warm bath water and soak or put them in a diffuser at bedtime.

Lastly, do whatever is good for you. Take positive steps to reduce stress like laughing aloud with friends and family, going for an outing, pampering yourself one afternoon with a facial while your kids stay with their father or a babysitter or just soak yourself in the tub with some aromatic oils and rose petals after putting the kids to sleep. Determine the stress causing elements and be creative in finding solutions befitting your hectic schedule to not let them hamper your life. Put yourself to test and try to make these solutions work for you.

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Time management tips: free advice for busy professionals

We are all given the same number of hours each day. No matter what you do, you cannot make more time in your day or “find” time to fit in everything you want to do. Why, then, does it seem that some professionals are able to accomplish so much more during the day, while others are constantly frantic, scurrying to meet last minute deadlines? If you find yourself wondering at the end of each day where your time went, here are some tips to help you recapture that lost time, accomplish more and breathe easier.

Organize. The number one time waster is disorganization. If you are regularly spending 15 minutes or more looking for a document that you know was “just right here a few minutes ago,” then it is time to take a close look at your organization system. A messy, disorganized desk is distracting and is not conducive to productivity. The good news, if you are not naturally organized, you can learn to be. Organization is simply a matter of creating a system for processing paperwork, a system that works for you. There are many good books on the subject of organization. Find a system you like and implement it immediately. Take a Saturday if you have to and get your office in shape. It will be well worth the effort. Make sure that you have separate file folders for each separate project, as well as for forms, inner-office memoranda, personnel documentation and the like. For loose paper, purchase a number of inexpensive wire baskets for incoming and outgoing mail and/or projects, for work in progress and for organizing mail. Make sure supplies, such as pens, paperclips and notepads, are easily accessible.

Once your organizational system is in place, set aside a specific time each day to go through that day’s incoming mail and projects. The goal is to touch each piece of paper one time and one time only. As you review each piece of paper, take immediate action. Right then and there, assign it to one of three baskets: First, place items that are going to require some action or response on your part into your “to do” basket. Second, place items that are informational and require no action into your “to file” basket. Finally, separate junk mail or items that you will have no use for in the future into a third stack. Immediately toss this third stack into your trash can so that it does not end up cluttering your desk. You will feel a great sense of accomplishment just knowing that you have dealt with each piece of paper on your desk, even if it was just making an executive decision to throw it away! Then, once a week, set aside time to finalize any items remaining in your “to do” basket and to file the items in your “to file” basket. Initially, setting up your file and organization system will take some time. But, once in place, you will find it takes no more than 15-30 minutes each day to stay organized.

Evaluate. If you find yourself feeling overwhelmed, or if at the end of the day you feel as if you have accomplished nothing and still have that same stack of paperwork in front of you, chances are you are letting valuable time slip through your fingers. Before you go any further, take a close look at how you are spending your time. Purchase a special appointment calendar to use just for this project, one that provides sufficient space to keep detailed track of your appointments each day, from first thing in the morning until evening. Then, for a week or so, write down in this calendar each and every little thing you do throughout each day. For example, if you spend one hour checking and responding to e-mail correspondence from 8 a.m. to 9 a.m., mark this in your calendar. If you spend half an hour looking for a file from 10 a.m. to 10:30 a.m., write it down. If you are interrupted with a phone call from 2:15 p.m. to 2:30 p.m., jot this down in your calendar as well. If you are occupied with a staff meeting from 4 p.m. to 5 p.m., write it in your calendar. By the end of the week, you should be getting a clear picture of exactly where your time is really going.

At the end of a sufficient period of time, at least one week, evaluate the way you are spending your time each day. Take a good, hard look at the ways you may be contributing to your hectic schedule. Take responsibility for making necessary changes. Are you wasting time checking e-mail or voice mail numerous times throughout the day, when checking once or twice a day would be sufficient? Depending on your circumstances and responsibilities, you may be able to limit yourself to checking e-mail and voice mail once in the morning, once after lunch and once at the end of the day. Are you interrupted throughout the day with telephone calls? Perhaps you can set aside a block of time each day where you will work undisturbed and allow all non-urgent calls to be transferred to voice mail. Do you find yourself procrastinating or going back and forth between several projects, never really accomplishing much on any of them? If that’s the case, then it is time to take the next step and . . . .

Prioritize. If you want to accomplish the maximum amount of work in a given time, there is absolutely no substitute for prioritizing. For this purpose, lists are invaluable. Set aside time each morning, or perhaps the evening before, to list each and every task you want to accomplish for the day. Once the list is complete, go through and number each item in order of priority. Then, take a few minutes to re-write your list neatly, starting with the number one most important task and continuing in number order. When you are ready to begin work for the day, start working on item number one and do not stop working on that task until it is complete. Do not allow yourself to be distracted. Do not abandon task number one because it seems too difficult. Stay on task. Do not skip down to item number five because it seems like more fun. Once you have completed item number one, cross it off your list move on to item number two and stay with that task until it is complete. Then move on to item number three, and so on and so on. At the end of the day, you may not have completed every item on your list, but you will have completed the most important items and, by staying on task, will have accomplished the maximum amount of work possible in the given time. Crossing items off a list feels good and lets you know you are accomplishing something. The next day, move the remaining items from the previous day’s list onto your new list and add any new items that have come up. Again, prioritize the tasks in order of importance and get busy! You will be amazed at the amount of work you are able to complete each day utilizing this simple method.

Compartmentalize. If you are constantly bombarded with telephone calls, voice mail messages, e-mail correspondence or questions from co-workers, it is a good idea to compartmentalize these tasks so that they do not interrupt your work flow each day. Set aside a specific time each day to respond to all phone messages, rather than answering them in a scattered fashion throughout the day. Check voice mail and e-mail at set intervals, rather than doing so whenever it seems more fun than the task at hand. Set aside a block of time when you will work undisturbed each day. During that time, have all but the most urgent telephone calls transferred to your voice mail and notify co-workers that you are not to be interrupted except in the event of an emergency.

Delegate. For busy professionals, the saying “time is money” is particularly true. Take a good look at what you do each day, again utilizing the time evaluation calendar you created. How much of what you do could be done more efficiently, and perhaps better, by someone else on your staff? Do not be afraid to ask for help. Be willing to allow others an opportunity to show off their own skills and talents. You may be surprised to find that there is someone else on your staff who is better suited to a particular task than you are, or who enjoys doing something that you find nothing but a boring waste of time. Successful business people surround themselves with a staff made up of competent people whom they trust. Hire good people and trust them to do what they have been trained to do. Let your staff help make your business a success and, in the process, give them a chance to shine.

Set boundaries. If you want people to respect your time, you will have to teach them to do so. If co-workers know that you will drop whatever you are doing to help them, then they will take advantage of that. Be firm in letting people know that your time is valuable. Do not encourage or allow interruptions. When someone interrupts you, let them know that you are otherwise occupied and will not be able to help them, or that you will help them later, when it is more convenient for you. Become comfortable with the idea of taking time for yourself, whether that means locking your office door so you can get an important project finished or letting the answering machine pick up at home so you can take a few minutes to unwind after a busy day.

Most importantly, do not allow your schedule to become cluttered with activities and events that are not important to you. For example, if you are going to set aside time to volunteer for something, make sure it is for the right reasons, because the charity or organization is something you believe in strongly. Learn to say no to things that are of no interest to you. Do not tie up large amounts of your time doing things because they are expected of you, or because you have trouble saying no, or because you feel obligated. Responding with a yes to every request is a habit that can be broken. Practice saying no and it will soon become second nature to you. In fact, you will find that, as you begin to set boundaries and learn to say no, you will feel empowered, in control and more alive. You will soon feel that sense of being overwhelmed begin to lift from your shoulders.

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