Advice for working mothers: cleaning when you have no time

ENLIST HELP

Even though it may feel like it sometimes, cleaning the house is not only your responsibility. Everyone that lives in the house is accountable for the state of it. Don’t take the bulk of the cleaning chores on yourself. Make everyone help you. Teach children from the time that they are young that they, too, are important members of the family and that their help is just as important to see that things run smoothly. Even children in pre-school can help by learning to put away their own toys, sorting the laundry, dusting the furniture, and fixing pillows on the sofa. Grade school aged children can learn to make beds, gather laundry from different rooms, put out fresh towels, sweep floors, rake leaves, water gardens and plants, set and clear tables, help unpack groceries, wash windows and mirrors, straighten out books and put away clutter, and take out the trash. Middle school-aged kids can mop, wash dishes, wash and fold laundry, help with younger children’s feedings and diaper changes, help prepare salads, microwave quick meals, organize books, tapes, cd’s, video games, and polish furniture. High school and college aged children can babysit siblings, run errands, wash cars, cook and serve meals, help with the more heavy-duty kitchen and bathroom cleaning and do yard work. Husbands, of course, can help with any of these things. If you and everyone else in the house is pitching in to do the cleaning chores on a daily basis, it will make it easier on everyone.

CLEAN ON THE GO

When you stop to use the bathroom, give the toilet a quick brush or give the sink a quick wipe. When you grab that cup of coffee, wipe down the kitchen counter while it's heats. Running to the laundry room for your pants? Bring a load with you on the way. When you sit down to watch the news, fold some towels or sort the children’s toys. When vacuuming the living room, grab the attachment and quickly take the dust off the ceiling fan. Taking the time to do these little chores on the run will leave any time you have left to tackle bigger projects.

PRIORITIZE

When the mess seems to be growing and overtaking the house, decide what jobs are most important to get done quickly. If you’re down to your last pair of underwear, do a load of laundry– someone can pick up the kid’s toys later. Can you use your nail to cut a trail of soap scum in the bath tub? Take care of that; no one will mind if they have to look in spotted mirrors for another day. Have you run out of cups and dishes? Get a load in the dishwasher and nuke some frozen pizzas for dinner, then serve them on paper plates. So what if you can’t make the bed today? No one has to know.

ORGANIZE

It may be an old adage, but when there is a place for everything, it makes it a lot easier to put everything in its place. Try to assign everything that is commonly used a spot that is easily accessible and always available. Take advantage of closet organizers, shelving, file folders and storage units.

One of the easiest way to keep clutter under control in a large, busy household is to keep things in plastic storage containers or baskets. Craft supplies, school supplies, office supplies, cleaning supplies, toys, sewing supplies, baby needs, bills with stamps and envelopes, tools– anything that fits in a box or basket that will need to be put away. Put shelves in closets to hold the boxes. When you need to use the items, drag out the box and dig into it for what you need. When you are done with things, simply throw them in a box and stick it back up on the shelf.

KEEP LISTS

Always have a small pad or book in your bag so that when you sit to wait for a bus, or have a few minutes at lunch, you can jot down any notes to yourself on things that need to be done or gotten. Make little notes for other people in the household if it is something they need to do and slip it to them when you see them. Some of the most troublesome and inconvenient chores that disrupt our days are the ones we forgot to get to or to tell someone about until the last minute. If you’re busy, don’t always rely on your memory. Get into the habit of writing things down, and checking your lists often.

STOP, DROP AND CLEAN

If you find 20 minutes here or a half hour there, stop everyone in the house who is not doing anything important and have a quickie-clean up time. Set a timer for 10, 15, 20, or 30 minutes. For that time, the objective is for everyone to do as much as possible. Assign tasks, or send a person into each room to do what needs most to be done. After the time is up, everyone can stop and go back to what they were doing. Whatever doesn’t get done will just have to wait. You may be surprised to see just how much a family can accomplish in 20 minutes if they know they can get it over quickly and go on with their day.

RELAX

Have you ever heard of anyone on their death bed regretting that they didn’t get all the stains out of the rug, that their stainless steel appliances had smudge marks or their laundry didn’t always smell April-fresh? Sure, cleanliness has some importance, but it isn’t the only thing important in life. Try to balance all of your needs.

Don’t be hard on yourself, or your family. Life gets busy, houses get messy. Sometimes you will be able to keep up with the cleaning needs better than other times. Don’t beat yourself up if you find yourself falling behind. Just keep up your stride as best you can, and things will eventually get back on track. Don’t expect everyone to always do a perfect job– be willing to settle for “good enough.”

Don’t forget to take care of yourself as well. Allow yourself time to rest and refuel. Sometimes we run on empty trying to get things done, instead of taking the time to recharge our battery so we can be more productive later.

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Stress management techniques for busy mothers

1. Identify the cause. Be aware of the issues that are generating stress. Do not ignore the slightest hint and try to perceive how the body reacts emotionally and physically. Accordingly, determine how you can change the surroundings to avoid, curtail or eliminate stress completely from your life. Have a control over your conduct and try to moderate the physical and emotional reactions under stressful circumstances. Medications bring short term relief of course, but control over one’s self is the most important key.

2. Let it out. Bottling up anger and pushing aside problems only result in building up of intense emotions. Talk with a friend or a family member who understands. Relationships and communications are great stress reducers. Emotional support from a person who cares for you goes a long way and makes life much easier. Plenty of social activities will automatically solve a lot of problems busy mothers face at work or in their domestic life.

3. Think positively. Women have a tendency to brood over matters which they think they could have done better. This tendency to self-suffer makes them more open to stress. So, let it go. Instead, admit to the failures, shortcomings, agonies, sacrifices and imperfections and focus on the positive aspects of life. Make a plan and figure out how you can perform better the next time.

4. Make new friends. Making acquaintances apart from the colleagues at work is very important because the friends from work place tend to discuss topics related to work which is the main thing that ties them all together. Friendships that take place outside the work area broadens the mind, helps share personal interests and experiences and provide opportunities to indulge in activities together unrelated to work like jogging or swimming, going to a movie or a health spa or a picnic.

5. Take a day off. Usually the wife is the one looking after the kids, picking up after them, feeding and bathing them in addition to all other regular household chores. Let your husband do the chores for one day of the week every week while you relax on the sofa and turn on some music. Talk with your husband, explain and schedule a workday for him.

6. Take it slow, enjoy motherhood. Mothers, working or not, are always hard pressed for time. So, they are always on the run. Rushing down to the grocery store after putting the toddler hurriedly in the car seat, flying up and down the stairs with the laundry, cooking a fast meal for self, cleaning the kitchen in five minutes all become regular routine and when the mother finally finds time to catch up on her favorite TV show, the baby starts bawling in the crib. There will always be something to be done. Strike off two or three things that you know can wait from your to-do list. Start your day before everyone in your household does. Wake up one hour earlier and enjoy a nice, warm cup of coffee at peace in your kitchen. Take a stroll in your neighborhood and admire the smiling daisies, the lush greens and take in as much fresh morning air as you can. Drive slower than usual on your way back from work. Slow walking helps release the stress. So, go out with your baby in the stroller during the evening hours after you are back from work and watch the sun go down. Listen to music in the evening, dance to the tunes with your baby and fill yourself with a refreshing pleasure.

7. Laugh a lot. Correctly evaluate a situation and stop blaming yourself for another person’s mistakes. Attack stress with the laughter weapon. Laughter medicine releases disease fighting antibodies, stimulates heart and lungs, relieves muscle tension, increases longevity and improves oxygen supply in the blood. Hearty laughter needs no effort at all. Invest a little in jokes books or funny cartoon magazines, hang around with people with good sense of humor or simply play with your kids and pets in your backyard after a long work day and rejuvenate your soul.

8. Diet and exercise. There is so less time for busy mothers to take care of themselves that either they can’t think about exercising or they are too tired at the end of the day to do some sit ups. But, mothers, here is a good and affordable solution to your problem. Exercising three or four times a week builds up your physical reserves and helps you fight stress more efficiently. Moderate and slow exercises like cycling, walking, aerobics, swimming and jogging can be very effective to ward off stress. Exercises help you sleep better and start a whole new day with new vigor and an enhanced feeling of self esteem.

9. Indulge yourself with Yoga and meditation. The rewards of yoga are endless, both physically and mentally. Setting up and honestly following a fitness regime which is both enjoyable and exhilarating both calms the mind and strengthens the body, giving you the boost, much needed by busy mothers, to carry yourself further. Practiced for centuries, yoga massages the internal organs as well as energizes the soul. It stimulates the muscles in the various body parts in a non-strenuous manner and brings about flexibility in those areas which were never so much worked upon before thus stimulating active blood circulation which means efficient transport of nutrients attributing to delayed ageing, a boost in stamina, improved digestion, dodging disability, enhanced breathing, rejuvenation of skin and radiation of confidence. You will discover a new vigor in life. Most importantly, the goal of yoga is to attune body with mind and soul. It requires only 15-20 minutes each morning to practice yoga. Regular practice of yoga will relieve you of physical pain and stress giving you a positive outlook towards life and enlightenment of soul. It is the exercise of the body as well as the mind. Thousands have been aroused by yoga’s magical touch and have benefited from it. In essence, the centuries’ old healing touch of yoga will transform your life at the spiritual level.

10. Pamper yourself with Aromatherapy. The word aromatherapy actually means the use of essential oils (many of which have magnificent aromas) found in various plant parts like flowers, seeds, fruits, leaves, bark or wood in a curative manner. Aroma or essence is found everywhere and it influences our mood in a wide variety of ways. Aromas of some spices like cinnamon and cardamom in the kitchen water the mouth while lavender and chamomile scented candles around the tub soothe the nervous system. Rose petals in bathing water improve the skin texture, dried citrus fruits freshen the indoor air and sandalwood powder alleviates stress. Aroma of ginger in tea eases cold symptoms and meditating with the use of jasmine incense in a dimly lit room and a restful environment calms the mind and sets the mood.

It is extremely difficult for busy mothers to find time to pamper them with the elaborate techniques of aromatherapy. But one thing is for sure. It is a sure shot stress buster. So, if the busy mother can find time, there is no alternative to aromatherapy.

Some aromatherapy techniques:

a) Massage- is the key to longevity. When we massage ourselves or receive a massage with essential oils, the oils lubricate the skin and are absorbed by the body. They enter through the pores in the skin, seep through the tissues and reach the bloodstream, which helps them reach the various organs of the body. The exhilarating aroma of the oils refreshes and relaxes the mind, rejuvenates the skin and cools down the body.

Recipe for massage:

3 drops of olive oil

2 drops of neem oil

2 drops of sandalwood oil

3 drops of arachis oil

3 drops of lavender oil

Mix the oils and gently massage all over the body after bath when the body is most receptive.

b) Meditation- Fragrances enter the human body through the nasal pores and stimulate the olfactory nerves. These nerves then carry the impulses to the brain thus energizing it, which in turn does the job of arousing the whole body. This influences the hormone levels of the body that regulate desires, passions, urges, emotions and memories. The subtle effect of the oils thus can control the senses and the body responses accordingly.

Recipe for meditation:

5 parts Sandalwood oil

3 parts Frankincense

2 parts Myrrh

Put the ingredients in a diffuser and put it in your room where you intend to meditate.

c) Sleep promotion and stress relief- Nothing can be compared to the soaking of the whole body in a tub full of lukewarm water with a few drops of essential oils in it after a full day of work. Aromatic candles with lavender scent can also be added to the scenario. The vapors penetrate the skin and reach the brain, where they stimulate the nerves and send down a cool, revitalizing and relaxing sensation all throughout the body.

Recipe to promote sleep:

4 drops lavender oil

Add 4 drops lavender oil to 1 teaspoon milk. Pour into warm bath water and soak or put them in a diffuser at bedtime.

Recipe to relieve stress:

1. 3 parts ylang ylang

2 parts Lavender oil

1 part Sandalwood oil

2. 4 drops of sandalwood oil

5 drops of lavender oil

Pour then in warm bath water and soak or put them in a diffuser at bedtime.

Lastly, do whatever is good for you. Take positive steps to reduce stress like laughing aloud with friends and family, going for an outing, pampering yourself one afternoon with a facial while your kids stay with their father or a babysitter or just soak yourself in the tub with some aromatic oils and rose petals after putting the kids to sleep. Determine the stress causing elements and be creative in finding solutions befitting your hectic schedule to not let them hamper your life. Put yourself to test and try to make these solutions work for you.

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Advice for working mothers: breast feeding tips

No one disputes the benefits of breast feeding anymore– it is healthier for the baby, as well as for the mother. However, in this busy day and age, trying to breast feed your baby while you are holding down a 9 to 5 job can seem a daunting task.

Before you are ready to go back to work, begin to prepare yourself and your baby. Start pumping your milk during the hours you will be working. This will help you get accustomed to your breast pump so that, once you are back at the office, you will be able to use it easily and pump swiftly. Let your baby begin taking breast milk by bottle during these hours, so that she will grow accustomed to it and you can be sure that your baby will take a bottle well once you leave her for the day.

Another benefit of starting early is that you will get a jump on storing your excess breast milk. This will ensure that your baby sitter will not run out of milk should you get stuck at the office one night. Also, if you forget your milk in the office fridge, you won’t have to worry about rushing back and forth to deliver it early in the morning because you’ll have a supply on hand in the freezer.

Breast milk can keep for up to 3 days in the refrigerator, up to two weeks in a freezer of a one-door fridge, up to 3 months in a two-door fridge, and up to 6 months in a deep freezer. Store breast milk in bottles that are labeled with the day and time it was expressed. Instruct your sitter to use them in the order they were bottled.

Remember to give your sitter clear instructions on how to prepare bottles. Breast milk should be thawed by being placed in the refrigerator for four to six hours, or by running it under cool water until thaw. It can be heated by running it under warm (not hot) tap water. Breast milk should not be left out to thaw at room temperature. It should never be put in a microwave or heated in boiling water. Unused bottles that were thawed should be discarded after 24 hours. Partially used bottles should not be refrigerated or reheated and should be discarded immediately.

When you return back to work, have a discussion with your boss about your needs to pump your breast milk. Ask if your breaks can be scheduled to meet those needs, and if there is a room with an electrical outlet where you can have some privacy to express your milk. If your office has a refrigerator for your use, make sure you keep your breast milk labeled and in a bag so that some unsuspecting co-worker does not accidentally grab it for their morning coffee. If there is no refrigerator where you work, you will need to keep a cooler stocked with ice available each day for storage. Again, make sure it is appropriately labeled and out of the way.

One of the most important investments you can make if you are going to continue breast feeding while working is in a good breast pump. Hospitals and birthing centers sometimes rent high quality pumps for reasonable prices. Beware of many inexpensive drug-store varieties of pumps, as not all pumps are created equal. Ask other working mothers or breast feeding specialists for suggestions on good brands that pump swiftly. Make sure you try out your pump and are thoroughly comfortable with it before going to work with it. If time is short, you should seriously consider a double-sided pump, so that you can express both breasts at one time.

Try to regulate your schedule so that you are pumping at around the same time each day. Your body creates breast milk as it is needed, so it will adapt to your schedule. This will help to prevent engorgement and leakage at inopportune times when you are in the office.

When you are home, afford your baby and yourself the time to nurse. One of the best things about breast milk is the bonding opportunity it offers to the nursing couple.

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Advice for working mothers: 10 tips to ration your time

1) KEEP A SCHEDULE. Having things written out in a day planner so that you can look ahead can help you to organize your days and weeks. You can organize your time and budget it out much like you do your grocery bill. You will know at a glance when you have overextended yourself so that you don’t over-book your precious time. It can also prevent you from forgetting things until the last minute so that you don’t wake up one morning and find yourself racing around the kitchen at five o’clock in the morning making cupcakes for the school bake sale, or spend all night finishing up the project at work that your boss wanted yesterday.

2) ACHIEVE A BALANCE. Think of your life in terms of a giant pie graph. In fact, you might want to make a pie graph that represents your day or your week. Figure out how many hours you need for all the different activities and responsibilities you have: work, children, spouse, housework, errands, sleep, personal hygiene, eating, alone time, etc. Try to keep everything you need to do in perspective and balance out your needs accordingly. By laying it all out, whether mentally or on paper, you will begin to see if any areas are unbalanced, or being squeezed out, so that you can make adjustments.

3) PRIORITIZE YOUR ACTIVITIES. A career, a family, and a house to run are three jobs, and not even Superman could find time to do everything that needs to be done. When you schedule your activities, or make your to-do lists, prioritize the things that need to be done. Put the most important things at the top of the list, and the things that are least important or things that can wait at the bottom. If you get through your whole list, great! If not, at least you’ll have tended to the most vital, pressing items and gotten them out of the way.

4) DELEGATE RESPONSIBILITIES. Don’t try to do everything yourself, at home or at work. Make your spouse and your children a list of chores to take some of the weight off of your own shoulders. At work, if you find yourself swamped, see if a co-worker or secretary can help you with some of the more simple yet time-consuming tasks to lighten your load.

5) PAY FOR SERVICES. Sometimes it actually pays to pay others to do time-consuming things, rather than tackling them ourselves. For example, if you earn $25 an hour doing overtime, wouldn’t you rather do one hour of overtime, then take that $25 and give it to someone else to do some unpleasant task that would take you two, three, four or five hours? Hire a student to clean out your garage, or cut your grass or shovel the snow off your walk. Offer your friendly neighbor some gas money to pick up your kids from school so you don’t have to race out on your lunch hour. Rather than spending a whole Saturday doing laundry, send it out to the laundry mat so you can pick it all up, pressed and folded. Is painting your own bedroom really saving you money if you have to take a day off from work to do it? If not, consider hiring a painter. Sometimes, paying for services can actually save you money.

6) SHOP IN BULK. Save yourself constant trips to the grocery store by stocking up on non-perishable food staples and household supplies. If you have the space for it, consider investing in a freezer so you can stock up on meats and frozen foods. Not only will this way of shopping save you countless trips to the grocery store, but it will probably save you money.

7) COOK IN BULK. Every time you prepare one family meal, you could prepare two or three in the same amount of time. Get a bigger pot and some storage containers so that every time you cook you make an extra meal that can be frozen. If you do this every time you cook, you can cut the time you spend cooking and preparing meals cut in half.

8) MAKE QUALITY TIME FOR YOUR KIDS. Quality time with kids is much more important than the quantity of time you spend with them. 30 minutes of time spent with the TV off and playing cards together is better than if you are both home all day but going about your own business in separate rooms. Treat your children as you would your clients– schedule time with them, do everything you can to be there for that appointment, and give them your undivided attention. Turn off your phone, put away your briefcase, let the dirty dishes sit in the sink, and enjoy each other’s company.

9) MAKE QUALITY TIME FOR YOUR SPOUSE. While two busy, working parents will usually sacrifice time with each other so they can get their work done, keep the house from falling apart and be with their children, it is equally as important that a couple set aside time for each other. Pick at least one night a month in which you will send the kids to sleep over at grandma’s house, or get a sitter and go out alone. It doesn’t matter if you are having dinner at the fanciest restaurant in town, or sipping coffee at a doughnut shop. When rationing out your time, remember that your spouse deserves a piece of the pie.

10) DON’T SKIMP ON YOUR OWN NEEDS. Often busy moms will cut down on sleep in favor of the many other things that need to be done, or give up on leisure time. However, when we are sleep deprived, we don’t operate at our optimal performance levels. Likewise, when we don't get a moment to slow down and enjoy our favorite hobbies or time with friends, the stressors tend to build up and have no release. When rationing out your time, don’t forget that time to rest and play is equally as important as time to work. If you regularly get a good night’s sleep, occasionally pamper yourself and schedule a once in a while much-needed "moms night out" with friends, you will be better equipped to handle anything your normal, busy day can throw at you.

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Tips for work-at-home mothers

Today many women want to return to being home with the kids without completely abandoning the career world. Being a work-at-home mom means constantly balancing the demands of a job with the needs of the family. Although nothing can make this balancing act easy, some tips from other work-at-home moms may help.

Choose your work carefully.

Traditional jobs with traditional hours do not usually fit the needs of the work-at-home mom. Often, freelance positions offer more of the flexibility needed. Jobs that have portions that can be completed in the car while you wait are often helpful. Moms find they spend a lot of time waiting - at the doctor's office, at dance practice, at sporting events - all of these offer possible working hours.

Flexibility is key.

Break each job into steps, with quickly reachable goals. You cannot often complete one whole job in the bits of time available but often you can break the job into workable steps. Resist the urge to be overly optimistic about the work hours available to you - always budget your time assuming emergencies can and will happen. Don't wait for long periods of open time, learn to fit some work into five-minute lulls. It is also helpful to learn to work in odd environments. One work-at-home mom does paper work while seated on the floor next to the bathtub while her pre-schoolers play in the water.

Learn to Love Chaos.

Many people believe they cannot work with background noise. Most work-at-home moms learn to adapt. One of the places cited as best for getting work done is a fast food restaurant with a play yard. The moms just cart their work out to the little tables next to the play equipment and worked while the kids play.

Learn to Plan Ahead.

The number one enemy of the working mom is boredom - not in herself, but in her kids. Bored kids are demanding. Bored kids often get into trouble. Plan ahead to have simple crafts - coloring, cutting, and painting - for your child to do at his desk, while you work at yours. Young children love this kind of side-by-side work arrangement. You might also want to keep a collection of intriguing toys --action figures, puzzles, small cars, etc - in a basket near your desk to keep your toddlers occupied, but close.

Kids can learn to help too.

Children can learn that sometimes mom just has to work before she can play. One mom uses a timer to help her kids be patient through her work time. She sets the timer for about 50 minutes and tells her kids that they need to play quietly or watch a video until the timer rings - then she will stop working and they will do something together. Make sure every day has time when you focus totally on your child and enjoy yourself. Don't let your drive to succeed in work cause you to miss this special time with your kids.

Don't try to do is all yourself.

Link up with other working moms; they are a great source of support and work tips. Try trading babysitting with other mothers. Not only will you have those hours while your child is being babysat; you will also have stray minutes on your babysitting daya while your child plays nicely in your home with his friend. Another possibility is "hiring" an older neighbor child to be a mother's helper, playing with your child in the afternoon after school while you work in the next room. Get your spouse involved in childcare, too. Make a weekly meeting with your spouse so that you can work out his childcare hours.

Many women are making work and kids fit together. Some days the fit is a little tight, but the rewards last forever.

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