Personality conflicts in the workplace are rarely one-sided, even if they began that way. Your annoyance, frustration and anger over the situation can also play into the problem. To begin resolving the issues, take responsibility for your own part in the conflict. Do you show annoyance at this person's behavior? Complain about him behind his back? If so, you need to raise the bar on your own actions before approaching a difficult coworker about theirs.
Don't Expect Big Changes:
Face it; you will never be able to completely change those around you. The best you can hope for are a few ground rules that you can both stick to that will make the situation more pleasant. If you go into the situation with realistic expectations, you are less likely to be disappointed with the outcome.
Choose Battles Carefully:
It is easy for professionals to get to a frustration level that sees a coworker's every behavior as a problem. Some behaviors simply must be ignored, while others are addressed specifically and positively. While you may not be able to change a coworker who sees himself as always right, you can ask the person specifically not to interrupt you when you are speaking in a meeting or criticize you in front of other coworkers.
Avoid Gossip:
It is so tempting for professionals to talk about the issues with a difficult person, to find out if others are dealing with similar problems. However, talking about a coworker behind his back will quickly earn you the title of "office gossip" and create a host of other professional issues. Keep your frustrations to yourself, and address them with your coworker in private. This keeps things on a professional level and avoids dragging others into your conflict.
Managers are a Last Resort:
If coworkers are abusive or antagonistic, professionals may have to present the issue to a manager. However, moving up the hierarchy with your problem should be a last resort. Managers are busy people who don't have time to deal all the professional issues that arise in their offices. Try to work with the coworker independently first, presenting the problem and a proposed solution in a calm, professional manner. If the problem becomes worse, you may need to seek your manager's help to resolve the issue.
Difficult coworkers are everywhere, so there is a strong likelihood you will encounter one from time to time. When a problem arises, approach your coworker sooner rather than later, and work together to resolve professional issues. By maintaining your professional attitude and handling the situation calmly, you will be very likely to regain an atmosphere of harmony to your office once again.
By Sam Rivers
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